How many times has someone said, "That's wrong. Do it the right way instead." The conversation is as old as human language. I'm sure an Egyptian architect stood around 4000 years ago debating with the pharaoh if the stone monuments should be cubes or pyramids. The pharaoh insisted he was right for wanting cubes because that's what the pharaoh before him had (though much smaller) and wouldn't take no for an answer. The architect wanted pyramids. They were at a standoff.
They both claim to be right and are trying to change the other's behavior. The architect saw all this and remembered the hieroglyphic his coach recently provided. He shifted to an easy vs. hard conversation with the pharaoh. He relayed that a pyramid will be a lot easier to build because it requires quarrying less stone, for lower labor costs, and will be built faster. The pharaoh, like most people, wasn't about to take a hard action once he saw the easier option was so much, well, easier! He dropped his defensive posture and breathed. And the architect was not fed to the lions. Right vs. Wrong: -Shuts down conversation -Creates a winner (right) vs loser (wrong) construct -Creates an adversarial relationship -Creates constriction and defensiveness Easy vs. Hard: -Encourages conversation -Invites expansion and openness -Fosters collaboration -More possibilities for action Right/wrong creates a fight. Easy/hard creates a conversation. |
AuthorMike Coe. Transition, Creativity, and Leadership Coach Archives
April 2022
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