Learning New Behaviors

I first went into therapy years ago because my life was unmanageable and I wanted things to be different.  Newly married, renovating our house by myself, high-stress 12-hour a day job as an executive speechwriter for a 4-star general, and working on a masters degree.  I had no free time.  At the first therapy session I said something like, "can you just give me some tools and fix me?  I'm a hard worker so this should take a month, right?"  My present self looks back at my past self and heartily laughs at my naiveté.  Hahaha!  If only it worked like that.

I've had more clients than I can count walk in my door with similar requests.  "I am so busy that I don't have time to read about how to adapt new habits or learn new skills.  Do you offer an express conversion I can do in a month where I just watch some videos?"  

When a leader sets to develop new skills, habits or behaviors, the quality that dictates success more than any other is....practice.  If you practice, you will improve your ability.  If you don't practice, you won't.  Expecting immediate change without practice is as ridiculous as driving on the right side in the US for 30 years, then moving to Scotland and expecting to be an expert on the left side.  In order to learn to drive on the other side of the road, you have to go back to being a beginner and practice.   You don't have to become an expert at left side driving, simply good enough will do.     

So yes leader I believe you when you say you are too busy to make time to learn a new skill because I've been there.  And if you want to develop that new skill you'll need to carve out some time.    

I'll leave you with evidence to prove my point.  How did you learn to tie your shoes or use a pencil?