The following practice is hands down the #1 most important tool I give to clients. Use it and your work and personal lives will be easier; don't use it and they will be harder. It is that simple. I have yet to meet a human who didn't experience some amount of stress or pressure in life; it's inevitable. Stress/pressure come from your thoughts about how you are handling the current situation and these thoughts fall into two categories:
Human's have only two ways to work with thoughts and here's the secret...you get to choose which to use. Curtain #1: Deny the thoughts exist by fighting them and trying not to have them. This is a very American way....it will all work out if I just try harder! Fun fact: For about 2 years I tried to get rid of and fight my stressful thoughts. Let me save you two years of your life by saying...it doesn't work. :) You'll expend a lot of energy and invite a lot of tension. Here's another secret...the only person you're fighting when you try to push your thoughts away is yourself. Curtain #2: Accept that you have these thoughts and let them sail right by. There's no tension because you're not fighting. You have more ease and flow. I recommend this 30 second centering practice to let the thoughts to go by. I adapted and first learned it from Wendy Palmer at Leadership Embodiment. Centering acts like a clutch in a car. It disengages the mind for just a second to allow you to shift out of "I have to fight to keep this thought out" and into "let the thought go by." The more you practice, the easier it gets. The key is to practice when you are calmer so it becomes embodied (i.e. you don't have to think about doing it...you simply do it) and you are ready to use it when you're really stressed. If you do this practice twice a day (after you wake up and before you go to bed) for about 45 days you will begin to notice a difference. Your nervous system begins to calm down and work through your transition in the background even when you're not thinking about it. Your system will begin to accept that the old way of life is no more and make space for something new to emerge. If twice a day seems impossible, start with once a day and build up. Here's the centering exercise:
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AuthorMike Coe. Transition, Creativity, and Leadership Coach Archives
April 2022
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